9 texts from Earth so real you'll laugh.


You know that moment when you KNOW you should break up with that person you’re dating, but you just can’t seem to let go?

Imagine how Earth feels. About humans.

Needless to say, there are a bunch of red flags we humans are sending that would make any friend of Earth say, “Earth, I think they’re just not that into you.”

Every relationship has ups and downs. Even our relationship with our own planet. You’ve read articles and you’ve watched documentaries, but we all know the truth comes out strongest in … text messages.

1. Earth has thing for bad boys.

2. Mixed signals.

Tomato, tomahto — pattern, anomaly — potato, potahto? Let’s call the whole thing off.

3. Ghosting.

4. Fear of commitment.

It’s like, “I’ll look at the rainbow, but don’t make me conserve too much water, OK?”

5. Low standards!

6. Burn me once, shame on you…

…burn me twice, shame on Earth?

7. Lack of communication.

Not the text bubble thingeeeee!!!!

8. Lack of boundaries.

9. The final burn.

“What’s love got to do with it?” — Earth/Tina Turner

Burn!

The state of Earth-human relations is tough.

Global carbon dioxide levels are the highest they’ve been in 3 million years, and some climate scientists are saying that global warming has “supercharged” El Niño, making the winter of 2016 a warm and extra weird one. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Things are bad. But it’s not too late to make things better.

One “text” at a time.



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